How is it that his words cut me so deeply?
Even now, gazing into the past with hindsight, I remain blinded.
I cannot see when, or how, he came to mean so much to me.

Where is that find line between dominant and Master?
Or between submissive and Pet?
Why did I not recognize that line before we crossed it, he and I;
Someone tell me how I could blithely disregard it.

For as long, I erected wall after wall around my heart.
Each heartbreak coated my soul within a new layer of steel.
Time had shown me that I would never find love;
I would never be allowed that happiness.

Yet in such a short span of time, I found myself assaulted with love.
Assaulted with those who can pull my heartstrings so easily.

Confusion abounds as I struggle to trudge through these questions.
No answers exist for the most important of them.

Why did I let my guard down so readily?
How have these people entrenched themselves so deeply into my fetid heart?

Still, there are none of them to love me.
To strip away the monstrous shell that encases me, like an evil cloak.
To love me for who I truly am, not who they might change me to be.
To hold me tightly when the shadows of my sin press close.
To caress me when the arctic winds of solitude gnaw into my bones.
To kiss me when the nightmares of my slumber and waking life drive me to tears.
To whisper that they love me, even when I believe that no one ever could.

But who could ever be there for a monster?